Missing Melissa

So, it looks like Honduras is not going to happen.  The next surgery date to be attempted in October 30th in Santiago, DR.  I did get to talk with Bobby (orphanage director of CHOH) who is helping with her stuff.  He explained the paperwork and guardianship issues.  We REALLY must find one of her parents to sign these forms so that her medical plans may proceed.  No passport or VISA can be obtained without this.  If we have to go through other channels the wait could be extensive.

 

The heart doctors want her on Lasix and Digoxin pending her surgery.  Everyone who is caring for her and seeing her says she is holding her own but I'll admit to have a quesy fearfulness that things will deteriorate before we are able to help her.  This is also troubling to my heart because I know it is not being faithful that the Lord is in control. 

Jack and I have talked several times about her adoption.  It is so funny what we worry about.  Being the obnoxiously practical people we are, we end up discussing things that are so far out there planning wise it is a joke.  I know one thing for sure.  God is in the middle of a life altering change of my faith.  What I mean by that is trusting in his provisions.   Jack and I have always been planners.  We usually have a Plan B (Plan C and sometimes Plan D).  Our faith has been like, "Ok Lord, we have faith that you'll take care of this, but...we'll have some other plans ready."  Bad, I know!  He's teaching us in this that there is NO way to prepare.  This is ALL unknown.  There may be similar stories but none are Melissa's story. 

On a bright note, Melissa did get her medicines today through the diligence of Dr. Mark McColl who was on the team last week who saw her.  She had some bloodwork done which did show no HIV, Sickle Cell disease, hypothyroidism and other issues.  We now just focus on the heart.  Bobby was going to take her to get an ECHO for me this week just to have something to go on but God again took our plans with a left turn with another emergency at the orphanage.  Christopher one of the little boys was playing a suffered a bad femur fracture.  My heart breaks for the little guy as he is now at the hospital in traction versus the surgical repair a child here in the states would've received.  Ugh!!! 

So, a final confession of sorts from my troubled heart.  Pictures of Melissa have been my only lifeline since I had to return home.  However, except for pictures of Kristina (her current stand-in Mommy) holding her, everytime I see someone else holding her I actually feel jealous and protective of her.  I truly have had days where I questioned if I had the fortitude to do this.  My new insight to my friends adopting and their heartfelt struggles has been enlightening and heartbreaking. 

Today, the whole family was in Montgomery AL visiting with my mother-in-law and family.  What struck me as we went to the museum, fed the ducks and played was how over and over again, one of us would mention how we'd have to do this or this "when Melissa got here."  She is now one of our family and 4 of the 5 of us haven't even met her.  This is one powerful little girl blessed by one powerful God!