A call for Tamaka...

As I was spooling down this evening, the Lord once again spoke and reminded me of my recent prayers to be of use again to my colleagues and family.  An brief email was followed by a call from Dr. Clint Doiron who is currently in Port au Prince setting a new pediatric cardiac surgery program in Haiti.  He met today a critically ill little girl who needs... no MUST have our help to find a place for treatment and medical stabilization here in the states.  She will not be here next week without it.  So, at 7:30pm on a Friday night of a holiday weekend I began shaking the trees for any help we could get.  The key component keeping her from getting to the US is a hospital to commit in writing to accepting her and providing her care.  I do not work in the hospital much anymore and do not have political/powerful contacts at the hospital, but we will still strive to be the Lord's hands and feet.  To bring a miracle to this precious child through the Lord's grace and mercies.  If you know anyone with hospital affiliations/connections please pass Tamaka's story along.

January 14, 2011


By Rachel Turner

Tamaka Ecza sits on a chair with her head resting on a yellow pillow in her lap. At twelve years old, she’s too weak to sit up. According to cardiologist Dr. Clint Dorion, she will die within the week if she doesn’t get help.

Tamaka wears a red dress and a beautiful smile. Her nurses say she’s the most beautiful girl in the hospital. She and her mom, Marie Charles have lived in the University of Miami Hospital in Port-au-Prince since Tuesday after leaving the countryside when Tamaka turned for the worse. Now Mrs. Charles attempts to make her fifth child as comfortable as possible until the end.

“Tamaka is in congestive heart failure,” said Dr. Dorion. “She’s been diagnosed with rheumatic heart disease and will not live without immediate help.” Tamaka experienced untreated strep throat at age seven which affected the valves of her heart making them incompetent. That lead to an infection on the heart valve and the heart sack. She will eventually need a mitral valve replaced, but for now, she just needs to be stabilized in a US hospital that has the proper equipment to make the necessary diagnosis and treatment.

“I hope to find a way to help my daughter, but I don’t even have a house to take her to,” said Mrs. Charles. “I made a tent that we sleep in now.” Even with many dedicated non-profits working in medicine, the devastated city of Port-au-Prince has no facility or equipment for the cardiac treatment that Tamaka needs.

This week could be even more difficult for Mrs. Charles than when she and her family lost their business and house one year ago in the 2010 earthquake.

“I’ve learned that I can have the world in my hands and lose it within seconds,” said Mrs. Charles. “I don’t know how to get through this yet, but I depend on God.”

For more information or to learn how you can medically assist Tamaka, please contact Dr. Clint Dorion or Chris Keylon at:

US cell: 865-300-1922

Haiti cell: 509-3-838-9922

Email: ChrisKeylon@chadasha.org

For photos visit www.scoreinternational.org/multimedia/haiti



365 days later...and still rambling

I have been anticipating this day for a few weeks.  For those who somehow may have missed it, today is the 1 year anniversary of the earthquake in Haiti that literally brought a wavering country to its knees killing over 200,000 people and making over a million homeless.  The emotions are not as I would have thought.  Those who know me even through this blog know that Haiti infected me last year. 

No, that is not a typo.  Haiti "affected" many who served, but truly "infected" me and changed the life I led into something so much bigger.  It is now IN me - a part of who I am.  Of course, I know it may be in the form of Haiti, but what actually "infected" me was the love of Christ and new path in my life of wanting Him more.  Of trusting Him more.  My thoughts are never far from this country and those whom I consider now to be a part of my family.

My reaction to today should have been one of contemplative reflection and yet I have felt numb all day.  I still, as I type this, am not sure why.  Is it because even in its total devastation, the earthquake was just one in a string of insults to this country?  Is it because I ache so to be there everyday and yet struggle currently with what I have to offer to Haiti?  I wished I knew...

Looking back, I had a similar obsession with reading and hearing stories coming out of the country as I did after 911 and the Oklahoma City Bombings.  From the day of the earthquake and subsequent weeks, I became a bit of a stalker even of some of the blogs and websites.  Some sites I came to know through connections with Chadasha who I was helping.  Some were random findings.  It still amazes me in the midst of all the numerous NGO's (Non-government agencies) that a year later I find myself in the same circles as some of the people I followed.  Sometimes the world is so small and we really get a glimpse into the family of God. 

I had an interesting observations today that I will share for those few I haven't bored to death tonight with my lack of wisdom and insight.  A year ago, this tragedy pulled me into service of gathering medical supplies and donations.  From the initial days, the response was awe-inspiring.  If you are interested, you can go back to the first few blog entries.  Well as I went to get in my car today 365 days later, I placed a large box of donated antibiotics and miscellaneous medical supplies for Haiti that I had gathered in the last couple of weeks.  The needs continue and therefore, so will I through the Lord 's grace and mercies.

For those who are interested in the status of Melissa, I have little news to give.  I am trying to piece together an application for Humanitarian Parole which is at best a long shot.  The whole process is becoming overwhelming and daunting, but I will press on with the Lord as my guide and guardian.

I have learned over the last year of the importance of being flexible and open to the Lord's will and pathway.  This has been a hard lesson for your classic Type A personality but I have felt at peace with these new ways.  The Lord has shown himself to me time and again with blessings beyond my imagination when I focused on serving Him and released all other constraints.  As the needs in Haiti have changed and evolved, the lesson of being flexible and open to possibility heightens.  I am now praying for where he will lead me in service.  Here I am Lord...

Melissa's Christmas...not in America

As much as we would have wanted it to work out, it apparently was not in God's will for Melissa to join us this Christmas.  It did leave us with a grey cloud of melancholy as we rejoiced our Savior's birth.  As the girls donned their matching PJ's on Christmas eve, Melissa's tiny fleece PJ's sat empty.  So we will package up her letter from Santa, PJ's and such and take them or send them to her very soon we pray.  

 

Though she was not physically with us, Melissa was with us...

For those who have seen Melissa, you will understand the selection for Tweety bird for her ornament.  For those who haven't, basically this shape is very much like her from her facial features, to tiny body, to feet.

My blessings did come in the midst of our sorrow.  Melissa was being cared for an incredible lady by the name of Wilna.  This woman was my angel as she gifted us with several Skype sessions to see our sweet baby despite horrible connection issues and repeated attempts.  She even dressed our girl up in an adorable Christmas day outfit for me.  My heart was so filled with joy and gratitude.   The Lord then blessed us with an absolutely PERFECT white Christmas day.  It was beautiful.

I will now confess that in my laziness or disappointment or fear, I have not worked on any of Melissa's Visa/Humanitarian Parole/Adoption paperwork and applications over the holiday.  Even as I sit here I don't know why...

The whole process is overwhelming and again I confess that I lost faith and trust in the Haitian lawyer who had been helping us.  But, the time of rest is over and we will forge ahead with prayer for discernment in our next steps, courage to be bold and not fearful of mis-stepping.  We will keep you posted as I have come to selfishly depend on your prayers and messages. 

My next plan in our mission work will be organizing another medical mission trip prayerfully in Feb/March timeframe.  It will be here in the blink of an eye and I must buckle down and make plans.

My love to you all!
Jenny

My therapeutic video montage...

New Year, New Promises

So today is the beginning of a new year and WOW!  How different my life is a year later. I started 2010 with a whole lot of soul searching.  There was such a sense of incompleteness that few were able to understand.  I had 3 healthy and beautiful children, a great husband and a good career.  What possibly could be missing?

As a child, I accepted the Lord as my personal Savior.  The years following were full of doing the "right" things.  Church, volunteer work on occasion and prayer when I needed help.  In retrospect, it was a very superficial Christian life.  Then, 2010 came and things changed.  COMPLETELY.  I prayed for weeks on end for the Lord to show me what I was to do.  What HE wanted me to do. 

January 12, 2010:  Earthquake in Haiti

Hundreds of thousands of lives were lost in a few short minutes.  Millions of lives were changed forever and mine was one of them.  Prayer and contemplation plunged me head first into the deep end of mission work.  The power of prayer changed from a great idea to real action and power.  Over the course of a few months I was awakened to a whole new life with Christ.  A life where I was able to let go of the "gotta-do's" and "supposed-to-do's" and follow his path for me.  When I let go of MY agenda, my life grew so much more.  Never did I think (or anyone else who knew me) I could tolerate 100+ heat with no a/c.  But I did...and loved it.  Well, didn't love the heat but learned that the Lord provides us with strengths of all kinds when we are following his will.  I learned that I could be tougher than I thought could be.

As this blog has journaled, I have come to find another home in the country of Haiti.  Amidst the devastation and overwhelming odds, I fell in love with a special group of brothers and sisters there who have taught me so much about faith and grace.  I ache to learn more...

So here we are a year later and looking now at pursuing adoption of a special little girl with an unclear future and we walk each day on the faith of the Lord's provision...

Follow along with us!

Jenny

True Faith and Hope in the Impossible

It is interesting how in my mind I have blogged several times.  Great thoughts that never make it to virtual paper.  I am going to diverge from the story telling of the last trip to update on Melissa's status.  In the last month, the Roberts (missionary family in Haiti I serve with) have been working on the paperwork and such for Melissa's birth certificate, passport and visa.  This endeavor (along with all of the issues with Melissa) have once again been out of my hands.  With multiple mission teams down in the last few weeks, the Roberts cup has been overfloweth.  To widen the burden of getting Melissa to the US on medical leave, we have been confronted with multiple invisible hoops of bureaucracy to leap through.

We began investigating what and whom to contact on the US side.  We were guided to contacting our US senators from Alabama.  The Lord was chuckling as I began into the world of politics and the legislative system.  Those who know me know that I have never been a fan of politics and debate.  Can't explain it, but I have avoided the political scene.  After about a week, we were blessed to have contacts in both Senator Jeff Session and Senator Shelby's offices who may can advocate for us.  BUT, we then hit a large and formidable brick wall...no one could advocate or do anything until the visa application was submitted.  So, what little contribution/control was there came to a screeching halt as I have had to wait on "the process" of those acting on my behalf in Haiti. 

Initially, I had faith and a sense of certainty that this was "doable."  I began to relax in the journey the Lord was unfolding, despite my tendency to guard my heart and over-prepare for the worst case scenario.  It became more and more easy to share Melissa's story and the possible future.  Jack (my husband) and kids talked about Melissa's part in the family as we went about daily routines.  We started to shift from apprehension to excitement about God's possibilities for our family.  My Mom brought home souvenirs for each of the children- including Melissa.  Our traditional matching pajamas for Christmas eve included tiny, pink footed pajamas.  I felt full of faithful confidence of the Lord's provision.

Thanksgiving holiday showed me how thin my faith truly is...

The holiday started off rocky when I began to speak with others who had been involved in getting patients to the states on medical visas.  They quizzed me on form XYZ and application 123.

Huh?  What forms?  What guarantees for finances for her medical care? 

As the knot in my stomach cinched around my Thanksgiving dinner, I knew that Melissa's presence with us as we read the Christmas story was slipping away. 

This emotional slap of reality was then confounded when I learned that due to illness of her other "mommy" in Haiti neccessitated someone else assume her care while the Roberts went to the Dominican Republic.  So, as I pined for my small daughter I begin to let the demons of despair sweep over me erasing my purported faithfulness.  My mind filled with images of this stranger providing for her daily needs, but not giving her the love and cuddles and family I so desperately want for this precious creature. It was another reminder that though she is a part of our lives now, we are not YET a part of her life.  And, frankly, that hurt.  A LOT!!

And so this week, the hurt, discouragement and fear returned like a flood on my soul.  Mentally I was so disappointed at my easily lost faith in God's TRUE power.  I fell into my common stance of being faithful in God's will, but "it probably isn't his will anyway."  The walls on my heart went under construction.  To be honest, I deeply questioned if I had the strength for this journey the Lord had gifted me with.  Maybe, this journey would better be travelled by someone else. 

Today was a turning point I am thrilled to say.  As I listened to our Advent sermon on hope and how we limit our lives based on our own limiting paradigms, it hit me.  That is exactly what I have been doing.  Somewhere in the last month, my mind became convinced that if we couldn't get the paperwork done then God couldn't make this happen.  Though I spoke of trust in God's power, once again I slapped it in a cage of limitations...my limitations...

So...I am going to REFUSE to claim defeat...yes, things look bleak if I focus on the obvious worldly reality of the situation, BUT...  My God is greater, My God is higher than any other...  If he truly wants something to be done, miracles can and DO occur.  My God has got this!!!

"Now ask and keep on asking and you shall receive, so that your joy may be full and complete."   (John 16:24)


Melissa holding on to Melody



Melissa's Mommies

Melissa fully stylin' in gifts from Haley and Lori.

As a foot note, an interesting developed when I began to query my elected officials for help.  Initially, I randomly sent 2 e-mails to state level senators before catching my error.  This wasn't random at all apparently.  One of the state senators is very interested in following and helping with contacts federally b/c he worked in the Peace Corp for years and has a special interest in internation mission work.  The other state senator wrote me a personal note explaining his interest as he lived in Haiti in the 1980's.  Who knew?  Yup...He knew...don't know if the contacts will ever be used but it was a neat twist.

The Results

We arrive back at the guesthouse and blessedly I held the contents of my stomach in place.  Once there things happened swiftly.  Dr. Serge Geffrard had the portable Echocardiogram machine set up in one of the guest rooms and proceeded with Melissa's exam.  Initially, I was downstairs trying to eat a bite to settle my stomach.  I walked upstairs and began to watch the ECHO of my sweet baby lying on the bed.  Immediately the grainy images on the screen caused my heart to again drop to my stomach. 

Though my Echo reading skills are basic, the small piece flapping in the heart where the heart wall and valve should be indicated this would be no easy surgical fix.  In that moment, my mind slammed shut to the doctor side of me and I struggled to keep up with the understandings of what he was finding.  After an extensive exam, we learned that Melissa has a complete AV canal defect as well as a small right ventricle (bottom heart chamber) and pulmonary stenosis.  At this point, the problems are "balancing" to keep her oxygenated at some level.  Her O2 levels when we were finally able to get the probe to work over her tiny finger was in the low 80%'s.  According to him this was good though I couldn't wrap my brain around that being "good".  Dr. Serge very patiently explained that surgical repair really wasn't feasible for the AV canal due to the ventricle issues and the pulmonary stenosis surgery is considered "palliative" meaning it just buys her some time.  He explained that the procedure for the pulmonary stenosis (called a Glenn's procedure) only lasts for a limited time. 

**blink, blink, blink**

Somehow, in my heart I did always know that her heart wasn't going to be an easy fix but for it to now be in black and white I struggled so.  Learning that the child who the Lord called you to care for has a terminal illness will drop you to the floor no matter how you may feel prepared.  The practical "let's take care of what we can" side of me took over to keep me from curling up into the fetal position on the bed next to her.  Practically, she could live happily for years.  No one knows and I will not limit God's possibilities.

It was getting late, so Melissa and I moved to the next room and I began to unpack and organize what I had brought.  A sense of numbness filled with fatigue limited my thoughts and about 1:00am I fell asleep next to my precious child.

Faith...

I am not sure right now why I didn’t blog while I was in Haiti. For those few out there who read this, I apologize profusely. The time up to this trip and the travel down was so blessed and smooth. When I arrived, the hard reality of my faultiness and humanity smacked me like an oncoming train. Such a big talker I have been about remaining faithful and going with the flow of God’s will. I had myself thoroughly convinced.

HA!!!

Let me backtrack a small bit though to the flight down. I was graced with a new friendship while waiting for the Port au Prince (PaP) connection. It was a “God thing” as I like to call these situations which can’t just be coincidence. A gentleman who I conversed briefly with at the gate was seated next to me amongst this huge plane of passengers. We made our introductions and learned a little about each other. He is a retired Haitian airline mechanic who now has a general aviation business with 3 small planes. He transport missionaries and others needing private air travel. This gentleman was incredible. He taught me about the island and some of its history as we traveled. He even invited me to come for a visit to “enjoy” the beauty of the island when possible. He explained how he saw time and again how the doctors would fly in and fly out and never take time to unwind and enjoy the country. How right he is!! We enjoyed getting to know about each others families and lives and parted at the baggage carousel. This is a friendship gifted to me and I intend to nourish this gift in the near future.

When I arrived, blessedly I breezed through immigration and customs. An air of confidence and bravado works very well down here when going through customs and baggage. Especially for a white women (blanc) traveling alone. As I type this however I realize though I really as a principle don’t like false bravado but in this one scenario it is necessary.

So as I roll my almost 200lbs of luggage and carry-ons out of the door. I scan the throng of men who forcefully valet your luggage (whether you want it or not) for Wilbur who was there to greet us last visit.

No Wilbur and I was making too much eye contact. A gentleman convincingly tells me he is supposed to take me to Wilbur.

I flinched.

Paused.

That was just enough time for him to whisk away with the cart and luggage with me in tow. We get to the outer gate and he begins to ask me who I was meeting. Who is picking me up? He suggests I call them. ARGH! I don’t have any phone that works here in Haiti. So here I am feeling like a target is now on my back. One gentleman offers me a taxi. Um…no thanks. I will give the valet credit. He stayed with me though clearly wanting to go back for another customer. He even (at the insistence of another valet) called the only number I had for our missionaries. No answer. My “oh crap” level was rising rapidly.

And then, I see Chris Keylon, another of the incredible people I have been blessed to work with, walking across the parking area. I believe in hindsight that I may have actually ran to him. (Negative cool points for that one I guess. ;) ) After a warm greeting he motioned for me to go around the truck and there she was….

Melissa!

Michelle had dolled her all up for me. Headband, adorable outfit and hot pink finger and toe nails. My heart skipped a beat. And then…it stopped…

Michelle mentions that Melissa’s passport won’t be completed until next Wednesday.

WHAT?!? In that instance, the rubber band around all my purported peace and faithfulness snapped, smacking me squarely in the face. I attempted to regain the racing thoughts in my brain. There were two physicians who were down to do the screening for the heart surgery team. They arrived on the same flight I did and everyone was making introductions as gear was being loaded into the trucks amongst the dust, heat, noise and general pandemonium which is PaP airport.

Michelle asks if I would accompany her out to Thomazeau to the orphanage to pickup Isaac who is her son which she is adopting. Sure, I enjoy going to Thomazeau. I was numb and at least thankful to be able to unload the largest part of my luggage which was the uniforms for the Children of Hope Orphanage school which just opened. We inch through the worst traffic I’ve been in yet getting through PaP. We bounce along to Thomazeau at dusk with my mind racing. Usually when I am riding around Haiti I pay close attention to my surroundings to take in every bit of the culture. This ride was just a blur of the usual sites I linger over on previous trips. My mind kept thinking:

But no, she has to have her passport. The plan is to go to Santiago so she can be made well. What am I supposed to do know? What mission does this visit serve? No, no, no…this isn’t how it was supposed to happen. So consumed by my overwhelming sense that the trip to Santiago was God’s will, I even rationalized that the passport would magically appear Monday by God’s grace and we’d be back on track.

We arrived at CHOH after sunset. The children greeted us in their usual loving way where they cling to anyone just to feel that human touch of love. It is something I think a lot of children take for granted. A simple bear hug and kiss is better than candy treats to these kids. They definitely have my heart. I was then quickly greeted by Lourdie who is the Mom of the orphanage. This woman is truly an angel here on Earth. She is one of the blessings I have received here in Haiti and it is my honor to call her friend. As Michelle collected Isaac, the kids “helped” me unpack my bags and get the uniforms out. This was quickly followed by the abduction of my camera with which they took some good pictures I’ll add to this site. These are some INCREDIBLE children. Well mannered, respectful and supportive of each other. Truly it is a wonderful home for them to grow and learn. After hugs and love from Mama T (Bobby the director’s mother), we needed to rush to get back to PaP before the night became any darker. I ran around snapping pictures of the kids to send to their adoptive families and piled back in the truck to bounce back home.

On the way back to PaP and the guesthouse, the weight of the day overtook me.  Cold sweat beaded on my forehead and waves of nausea had me digging in my bags for nausea meds.  I knew if I could just hang on to the guesthouse I'd be able to regroup.  Hold on....Hold on...Hold on...